Rant: sweethearts and darlings

Friday, December 25, 2009
Lately, as I now work in retail, the customers I serve puzzle me. Why? because They'd say something like "thank you darling" or "thanks sweetheart."

What's so wrong in being called darling or sweetheart you ask? Well, to begin with, I do appreciate the mannerism of 'thank you.' However, the fact that it's not only women, but men who say it too. Mostly they're people over 27. Wouldn't you find it kinda weird, especially if a man, who is maybe 30, wearing a white singlet (and most likely thongs), with a beard and a beer gut says "thanks sweetheart" as you give him back his change. TRUE STORY.

I'm the type of person who doesn't say darling or sweetheart or munchkins. I just prefer anonymous friendliness from a distance. No terms of endearment if I don't know you, thank you very much.

Another fact which irks me is when teachers say sweetheart or darling, especially if it's in an offhanded way. If you can't pay proper attention to what we're saying/doing/giving to you, then don't try to sugar coat your nonexistent attention span on us.


Friday, December 11, 2009
I have a long post coming up on this blog. I need to finish it up and edit it. It's edifying. It's about someone about to die.
I now have a real paying job at a nationwide retail outlet.
School's finished for the year. Woohoo!
I was nearly in a car accident (caused by the combination of bravechickens' learning driving status and her mother's fanatical driving...no mom, you're still awesome...)
I like to watch Oprah now.
I've discovered SO much of my homecity in the last few day compared to my whole lifetime. My homecity is COOL!
I've discovered the world of zines by an actually successful zine-maker. The guy looked like Adam from Mythbusters.
I'm addicted to Yahoo! Answers.
Hmmm, I also have a whole heap of book reviews to do as well.


000: I have a Prolapsed Hen

Thursday, December 10, 2009
^ What's cookin' good lookin'?

One of my lovely girls (lets call her Hen A) recently suffered from a very bad medical experience. This happens to cows, cats, dogs and humans too. I'm talking about prolpase. Wikepedia might just be too wordy. Here's a simple summed up version of the prolapse which happened to my hen:

A muscle popped out of my hen's butt. This muscle is found inside the coaca (anus/rectum-I don't know the difference) and aids in pushing the egg and poo out. Usually, it pops back in. But if a hen is too old, young, weak, obese or malnutritioned, this muscle stays out to catch the view from the backside of a chicken.

Gross much? Here is a picture of what a prolapse in a hen looks like. Warning: may cause squirming.

Oh, and another thing? She had maggots around her butt as well.

So...what did I do to fix her up?
  • Seperated Hen A from Hen B

  • Researched Hen A's medical emergency like a chickenlovin' loony non-stop.

  • Quarrantined Hen A into a cardboard box in laundry (much to my mother's chagrin).

  • After discovering the fact Hen A has prolpase, researched remedies.
  • Most effective remedy was... TO PUSH THE THING BACK IN.

  • After registering the shock, prepared equipment for Hen A's 'surgery' alongside with sibling.
  • Equipment included: 1 surgical mask, 1 pack of ear cleaning sticks, tea tree oil, white vinegar, apple cider, honey and disposable gloves.

  • Prepared laundry sink for operation table by filling up halfway with lukewarm water. Added drops of tea tree oil, vinegar and apple cider.

  • Cleaned Hen A's vent (butt area) up. SO GROSS AND SMELLY!

  • After butt cleanage, sibling and Bravechickens (BC) started on second stage of 'surgery.' REMOVING THE MAGGOTS. This task was completed by yours truly. Using ear cleaning sticks, maggots were removed, one by one, hour by hour. Bravechickens' patience, labour and love for Hen A was of the utmost degree.

  • Due to lack of hairdrying equipment, Hen A's vent was 'dehumidified' using a heater (in loungeroom).

  • Vent didn't complety dry up, which turned out to be a good thing due to the advising of a good Samaritan from America.

  • Remaining stray maggots were promptly removed.

  • *drumroll* BC placed her finger/s onto prolpase and pushed the muscle back into Hen A's bottom.

This all happened between 12am and 5am. A sleep diprived teen had actually become transformed into a pseudo-surgeon, working on her patient until the wee hours of the night to save her beloved chicken.

Continuously, for the next three days or so, I kept Hen A on maintainence. This means that I gave Hen A just enough food to keep her alive. I also had to keep Hen A in a dark area, so the girl won't go on to produce babies (eggs). Oh, and I did continue to push the prolpase back in a few times a day. And then slather the thing in honey (and sugar a few times as well).

Sadly, due to the fact that chickens can be dumb, have a pecking order and forget their mates, Hen A had been kept indoors for 72 hours, thus forcing a tough love approach by myself to re-introduce her to Hen B. I'd read on a forum that a mysteriously named blue spray would prevent her from pecking her prolapsed booty. So I made one, out of water, blue food colouring and some cornflour. Did it work? Hell no.

FINALLY though, on the sixth day after Hen A's diagnosis of icky prolapse, a miracle occured. HEN A'S BOTTOM WAS PROLAPSE FREE! YAY!

How did I feel? I felt happy and grateful. I've had my sweet gals for three years now (four years this February). I'd say they're about 60 or 70 in human years. I love them to bits. They're smart and gorgeous and 110% lovable.

P.S: Ugh, I know this post is riddled with typos, but I cannot be bothered nor do I have the time. :(

The End. Scroll back up.